So How Did We Get Here?
Flashback to September 2022 (not much longer after my 33th birthday), I had the brilliant idea to leave my stable, comfy planning job with a major retailer in order to pursue personal opportunities (i.e., try my hand at becoming a full-time “content creator”). Okay, maybe I’m being hyperbolic, my Virgo Sun would never let me take such a giant leap of faith without a thorough, thought out game plan and subsequent back-up plans b, c, so on and so forth. I had a cushy savings to hold be over for the next 3-4 months, until I could secure a new role and in the meantime, I would commit to content creation, something I’ve dabbled in since college.
Little did I know that behind my resignation notice would follow a “soft recession” (never officially recognized by our government), and rejection letters from employers left and right. On top of all of the that, my attempt at full-time content creation would yield disappointing results (to be fair, the market for creators is vastly oversaturated especially within the Fashion/Beauty niche, and it’s tougher with the added layer of marginalized identities. But another conversion another day).
Fast forward to mid 2023- I’m BROKE broke and severely depressed, trying to find even the slightest bit of will to just get out bed to shower and eat. This lasted for months. Experiencing so much rejection from employers made me question my professional value. Seeing little to no return on content creation had me questioning my creative value *Insert Imposter Syndrome Here* Ya girl was down BAD!
How’d We Get Through It?
Did I say I got through that?! SIKE. It’s the final days of the year and I’m STILL unemployed but chile, I had to do something. I noticed how sad my face looked on one of my sponsored posts and said to myself “oh girl, you can’t even fake being happy if you tried. We gotta do something about this.” Depression is one of those disorders that can go from bad to REAL BAD in the blink of an eye. I can’t say that I’m completely out of the woods but I’m miles away from where I was months ago (We can chat about my depression routine in another post).
The last three months turned out to be pretty successful in terms of brand partnerships. Somehow , someway I’ve rediscovered my love of creating, without the external comparisons or obsessing over metrics.
One of my biggest lessons of 2023 was learning how to actually relinquish control and give way to the path of the Universe. Remember my Virgo Sun from earlier? Yea well Control is that bish’s middle name and we’ve had to TUSSLE. She’s coming around though, slowly but surely lol.
So Where Do We Go From Here?
GIRL, the hell if I know! I’m just taking it day by day honestly. Still filling out job apps, still getting in front of the camera to get these fits off. Hopefully rediscovering some forgotten passions, hence the return of this blog. I’ve come to realized I’m much better written than in motion, so as long as I have will, the words will come.
I can’t promise that I’ll be super consistent here, I have to find my bearings again. But I want to show up in a real way whether it’s messy or not, something authentic. Along with my ongoing job hunt, I’m in the process of rediscovering my personal style (How does one dress in they’re 30’s anyway?), navigating depression, new inspirations in film/music and so much more. I hope ya’ll stay along for the ride.
With Love,
— Dani